Begin with the end in mind.
That line, or rather a chapter, altered many of my perceptions of life at that time.
The first time I read that chapter of Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I was a teenager grappling with the same existential questions that many of us face.
I was in the midst of a personal struggle, constantly pondering the purpose of it all and questioning the seemingly nonsensical actions of the adults in my life.
(I was also in what I deem to be my “Recovery” phase and learning how to deal with depression, a topic for a different day.)
But I find myself circling back to that question when I am faced with decisions about what I should be doing or whether to pursue a business opportunity.
I also find myself having this discussion often when speaking with fellow entrepreneurs who are also faced with tough decisions: Should they develop a new product line, pursue an expansion opportunity, start a new business, or continue doing business with clients who disrupt their way of doing things?
Sometimes, when faced with decisions like that and trying to help my colleagues figure out their next moves, the logical answer is usually not an answer at all but rather a question along the lines of, “What’s your North Star? And is what you’re considering aligned with your goals?”
This usually reveals that most people have no clarity on what they’re trying to build, what lifestyle they’re after, or any of the messy human things that have no clear-cut answers.
It’s easy to say we want to do this to make more money, but why? What’s the end goal? What’s the destination?
Finding Your Personal North Star
Just as ancient mariners used the North Star, Polaris, to navigate their journeys across vast oceans, we, too, need a fixed point to guide us through life’s turbulent waters. Your personal North Star is not just a vague concept of success or happiness; it’s a vivid, detailed vision of the life you aspire to live and the person you aim to become.
This guiding light serves as a constant reference point, helping you make decisions that align with your deepest values and long-term aspirations. When faced with choices or opportunities, you can ask yourself, “Does this move me closer to or further from my North Star?” This simple question can provide remarkable clarity in moments of uncertainty.
Your North Star isn’t about rigid goals or inflexible plans. Instead, it’s about having a clear sense of direction and purpose that can weather the inevitable changes and challenges life throws your way. It’s a framework that allows for growth and adaptation while keeping you true to your core values and aspirations.
Visualising The End
So, how do we begin to identify and articulate our personal North Star? One powerful exercise I first encountered in the book 7 Habits earlier is attempting to write your own eulogy. And as morbid as that may seem to many, I’ve found nothing greater in revealing what’s truly important to you in life than this exercise.
As I recall it, the chapter opens with a framing that you’re on your way to the funeral of a loved one, and as you reach the church/chapel, you approach the casket only to come face to face with a future version of yourself. As you observe your body, you’re handed a program for the service from which you can see there are 4 people carded to speak at your service:
- An immediate family member (spouse, children, parents, siblings)
- A close friend
- A work colleague
- Someone from your church or community organisation
The exercise prompts you to think deeply about what you’d like each speaker to say about you and your life.
What kind of spouse, parent, or sibling would you like their words to reflect?
What kind of friend, colleague, and community member would you like to be remembered as? What character would you want them to have seen in you?
What contributions and achievements would you want them to remember?
If you looked around carefully at those attending your funeral, what difference would you like to have made in their lives?
This exercise isn’t one you’d nail in one sitting. I’ve had multiple versions and iterations of it, and I’m redoing mine as a result of writing this. But it’s a great exercise because if you’re true to yourself, you’ll slowly reveal what’s really important to you, and that becomes a great foundation from which to operate.
The Stoic notion of Memento Mori for the philosophy buffs also explores this concept well.
Your North Star as a Decision-Making Framework
As you engage with this eulogy exercise and begin to crystallise your vision of a life well-lived, you’re essentially crafting your personal North Star. This vision becomes a powerful tool for decision-making and prioritisation in your daily life.
When faced with choices – whether they’re career moves, relationship decisions, or even how to spend your free time – you can refer back to this North Star. Ask yourself:
- Does this choice align with the person I want to be remembered as?
- Will this decision move me closer to the life I’ve envisioned for myself?
- How does this align with the impact I want to have on my family, friends, and community?
By consistently returning to your North Star, you create a framework for making decisions that align with your deepest values and long-term aspirations. This doesn’t mean every choice will be easy, but it does provide a clear reference point to guide you through life’s complexities.
In Part 2 of this series, we’ll explore how to translate this vision into a concrete personal creed, complete with a vision and mission statement. We’ll discuss practical steps for crafting these powerful tools and integrating them into your North Star framework, ensuring that your day-to-day actions consistently move you towards the life you aspire to live.
Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. By taking the time to identify and articulate your personal North Star, you’re not just laying the foundation for a life of purpose, clarity, and fulfilment but also empowering yourself to shape your destiny through your daily actions.